Great Moments In "Real Man" History

By George Klass (1-27-10)

Is it just me or have some of you noticed that there seems to be a bunch of male sissies out there.  I remember back when I was doing a safety check on a car that had a hole in the firewall.  I brought this to the attention of the driver and told him that this would need to be rectified before I could sign off on his tech card.  Before the guy could respond, his wife, or girl friend, jumped in and started to make a scene ("we drove 200 miles to race, how dare we, etc., etc.").  I looked over at the driver and he was just looking down at his shoes, kind of sheepishly, afraid to speak out. 

Unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident.  It seems that many females today are "taking over", and it's the males fault.  Where are the "real men" these days?  Have men been beaten down so much that they can't be in charge any more?  Are men going to turn over complete control of the world to women?  Are men going to permit the "sissification" of the male species? 

I answer with a resounding "no".  It's time for the "real men" to stand up and be counted.

Some of you out there may not be able to distinguish a "real man" from any ordinary male.  I can understand that.  After all, it's usually not a visual thing.  It's more of an attitude.  Unfortunately, it's not easy to find "real men" these days.  Some say that the days of "real manhood" are numbered, and based on what I have been seeing they may be right.

But before "real men" disappear completely from the planet, let us recount some of the Great Moments in "real men's" history, before there is nothing left to remember. 

I have gone back through my college history books for this one

1450 B.C.  -  Moses parts the Red Sea.

1107 B.C.  -  First singles bar opens in Egypt. Debut of pickup line: "How'd you like to come over and look at my etchings?"

379 A.D.  -  Happy hour established in Constantinople.

927  -  The first extramarital affair; coincides with establishment of hourly hotel rates in Paris.

1000  -  First bachelor's pad opened in Greece; start of famous "wine and cheese" tasting parties.

1096  - The Crusades begin; first large-scale singles-only cruises.

1500  -  Leonardo invents the tank.  

1533  -  Henry VIII divorces Catherine of Aragon and marries Anne Boleyne; introduces concept of disposable wives.

1762  -  First poker game.

1773  -  Boston Tea Party.  "Real men" dump tea into harbor, demanding black coffee.

1836  -  Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie fight at the Alamo.

1856  -  Twelve billionth original sin is committed.

1866  -  Jack Daniels introduced.

1880  -  Dodge City Kansas; first use of phrase "this town isn't big enough for both of us".

1919  -  Arnold Rothstein fixes World Series.

1923  -  Chuck Yeager is born.

1930  -  Clarence Birdseye introduces frozen food.

1932  -  Henry Ford introduces the Flathead V-8.

1933  -  Prohibition repealed.

1946  -  First bikini appears on beach of same name.

1960  -  Frank Sinatra punches out photographers.

1960  -  Beach Boys formed.

1962  -  Remote control introduced allowing TV channel selection from EZ chair.

1964  -  ABC Wide World of Sports premiers.

1964  -  Ford Mustang introduced on April 17.

1966  -  First pop-top beer can.

1967  -  Super Bowl I.

1980  -  Lee Marvin wins palimony case brought by Michelle Triolla.

1999  -  Heidi Fleiss released from prison, by a male judge. 

2004  -  Male passenger on an airliner becomes dissatisfied with the in-flight service, unzips and pees in the aisle.

I'm sure that there are other important dates in "real men's" history, but most of them are slipping away to become just a long forgotten memory.

I'm going to submit this article to Mel, just as soon as I get approval from this girl I've been seeing.

GK

Email George Klass And Tell Him What You Think  >>Email George<<

Check Out Another "Crossing The Center Line"  >>>Click Here<<<