NEW BIG NAME PSCA SPONSOR
By George Klass (1-27-11)
thinking about the Daytona 500 coming up in a few weeks and it occurred
to me how many of the race car sponsors were promoting products that had
nothing to do with either cars or high performance.
sponsors for home improvement centers, beer, marker pens, cell phones,
you name it. There were also sponsors pushing a relatively interesting
phenomenon, male "sexual enhancements". I have also seen TV commercials
promoting these same kinds of products.
me to thinking. Apparently, keeping a man's thing , uh, "rigid" must be
a highly profitable business. In fact, my computer is bombarded every
day by emails from companies trying to sell me these little pills. Why
they happened to pick my particular email address is beyond me
day I received a call from a "pharmaceutical company" in Texas that said
they might be interested in becoming a major sponsor in the auto racing
world. They were about to release a new product called YESACHOL, aimed
exclusively toward women.
has been pressuring me to get more sponsors, I became quite excited
about this potential opportunity. After some inquiry on my part, they
shared with me a little more about the product (it doesn't have FDA
approval yet so they were being a little careful). The company's
research has shown that "male enhancement" pills would not be required
nearly as often if more ladies just said "yes". After much research,
their scientists and doctors have developed a pill (supposedly good for
24 hours) that will "stimulate" the ladies to say "yes", up to 66% more
itself may completely torpedo the male enhancement pill market. Because
in many cases, the "problem" that the males may be having (again, their
research, not mine) is not a "unit rigidity" problem but a place to use
the unit after it becomes rigid.
to use it", of course, is where YESACHOL comes in. Now, exactly how
many times the female patient will say "yes" during the 24-hour period
has not been established, and will probably vary with different users.
problem for the company trying to market this medication, (and I am
forbidden to release the company's name until the sponsorship
negotiations are complete), is how to administer the pills to these lady
patients. It seems that the company's research shows that the vast
majority of women sampled (over 94%), do not feel that they need the
product in the first place. Saying "no" has always been easy for most
women. They have been programmed to do this (by mom, dad, big brothers,
teachers, etc.) since birth. In fact, the research has shown that women
would much rather say "no" or "maybe later" than they would to say
"yes". This is particularly true with the married ladies. To use drag
race terms, "once the married ladies get lane choice they no longer want
this is clearly a serious marketing dilemma. The very people that could
get the most benefit from YESACHOL (the men) are not the same people who
would be using the product (the ladies).
careful study and a thorough evaluation of the core drag racing customer
base, the company has decided that the males who attend PSCA events
would probably figure out how to "plant" the YESACHOL tablets into
something that their wife or girlfriend (or both) would eventually be
drinking. According to their marketing strategy and sales research,
just selling the pills to the male attendees could put the stock sales
over the top.
sounds like a reasonable assessment to me, too.
As soon as
the FDA approval hits, I'm buying up as much stock as I can afford. I
have been assured by the founder of the company, Dr. Imon A. Roll, that
we will all become very rich.
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